Dale Carnegie wrote a book for the good and the bad, offering key principles for trying to get someone to become your friend. He didn't distinguish between positive and negative motives for wanting to make friends; his book has been used by top companies to make more money and by individuals desiring to climb the chain of command.
Making friends can be good or bad depending on why you want to make friends. For a Christian convinced of his faith, however, who wishes to share happiness with others the dilemma is easily solved: "The more friends the better."
If we take Carnegie's 6 principles of making friends, and surround them with Gospel charity, then we will be working for God's kingdom not only with holy motives, but also with the top principles of success.
How to make friends:
1. SMILE: Nothing beats true Christian joy! Beyond just an external teeth-showing, true inner joy is the most attractive thing there is.
2. USE THEIR NAME: A person's own name is the most attractive word they can hear. Jesus often did the same. "Martha, Martha..." "Maria!" "Simon, Simon..." From the Christian perspective, using someone's name means knowing who they are in God's eyes.
3. GENUINE INTEREST: From a business perspective this interest can be faked. Jesus' interest in every soul is the same interest we Christians have. We want them to be truly happy, both here and for eternity.
4. PUT YOURSELF IN THEIR SHOES: Compassion is a virtue that goes beyond mere mind games. True love seeks to understand and share the intimate struggles of those around me.
5. LISTEN: Once again not a fake, as in: "Hey, I'll listen to them, as long as they do something for me." The Christian, rather, listens attentively in order to HELP others without selfish motives.
6. SHOW THEM HOW IMPORTANT THEY ARE: According to Carnegie, this importance can be made up... For any Christian it's simply a FACT. In God's eyes every person carries the value of Christ's suffering and death on the cross.
So if you are just trying to give yourself the human edge it might be enough to read Dale Carnegie's book. If you are a Christian, you'll need to spice it up with the love Christ teaches us in the Gospels. "Love one another as I have loved you" (John 13:34).
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