How do you explain to a little
girl what a beautiful dancer she could become if she has no idea what a
ballerina is? How do we begin to give less importance to the development of our
figures than to our souls if we are blind to spiritual realities? Yes, in
short, how do we wake up to God’s love for us?
Love for God is
a difficult thing. It’s a life-long project. Often God remains imperceptible
because we don’t know where and how to look. We know his existence and love for
us, it seems, by faith alone. We are, as it were, asleep.
I was pondering
these things, and this prayer flowed from my pen:
What love you have shown me all these years, O Lord! Your interest
in me lately has not so much changed, and yet I have begun to notice it more.
As if your unconditional love is suddenly flowing around me everywhere on this my
earthly flight. Not that your love just hit me, rather I just realized it was
there. Have I been flying too fast? Have the music and the air-conditioning
robbed my attention since they please my senses more even though they are not
important?
Your love is not simply like an object bouncing off my window which
suddenly catches my attention, but your love is EVERYWHERE, more like the very wind
which flows all around me, and which keeps my plane hovering on its flight. I
can hear the wind, I could feel it if I were to hold out my fingers, but I
cannot see it. Like your love for me—your presence around me—I see you not; and
yet there are so many signs which show you are there, and that you care.
Why then do I care more about the music, which pleases my ears? Or
the AC, which pleases my sense of feeling, both of which I also cannot see?
It’s not just a matter of perspective, is it? How come I can perceive you in
many little ways, but still don’t really
pay attention to you. Am I just seeking my own pleasure?
Your love is not unlike a lover’s beauty which is only “seen” once
they smile at me—and yet Lord, have you not been smiling at me, all these
years?
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